The Art of Self Pleasure
Why does bringing yourself pleasure seem to be so difficult for many women? We rush through our days caring for others and fulfilling our responsibilities until we have no energy for our own enjoyment. Sound familiar?
I see it happen every day with my friends, women who come to my fitness classes, my life coaching clients and if I'm not careful it happens to me. We neglect our own needs and give in to the daily grind of life. We need to start prioritizing a different and more pleasurable grind. Sexual pleasure needs to be a priority!
Self pleasure seems to be a lost art. I'd like to change that with a simple and effective three step process to owning your own pleasure.
Step 1 - Know Specifically What Brings You Pleasure
We all need to slow down and tune in to exactly what brings us pleasure. This may sound obvious but many women never get this far in the process. Discovering what turns you on is a crucial first step to pleasuring one's self. In order to know what turns you on, you need to experience a variety of sexual activity. Be careful! Shame may creep in here but don't let it. You are an adult woman with needs and its okay to satisfy them. Experiment alone or with a trusted partner. What puts you in the mood? What rhythm and pace brings about bliss? When do you feel the most connected to your partner? The list of variables goes on and on but you get the picture.
Step 2 - Communicate Your Desires
Once you've figured out what it is you like, you now need to communicate those preferences to your partner. Men are not mind readers. How do you tell someone you're feeling frisky? How do you tell him where you like to be touched? How do you slow him down or speed him up so for optimal satisfaction?
Never underestimate the power of body language. Moving a hand here or there can get your point across perfectly. Another option is the one (or two) word whisper. Seductively whispering a specific directive is a gentle and effective way to get what you want without bruising any egos. Men, good men, want to please you. They don't mind a little direction if it will bring you pleasure. Witnessing a woman enjoy herself while making love is a huge turn on for men. Positive reinforcement is another effective tool in getting more of what you want. Be sure to point out what your partner is doing that pleases you. Everyone likes to feel appreciated.
Step 3 - Prioritize Pleasure
I often hear women express guilt for prioritizing their own happiness especially when it comes to sex. You need to prioritize time for your sensuality or it will wither away. Sacrificing your sex life for the day to day responsibilities of work, raising children and household chores may seem noble but you're really doing yourself, and those you care about, a disservice by not taking care of your own needs. There is an incredible amount of energy and vitality that comes from being in touch with your sexy side. This vitality will benefit all aspects of your life. In other words, put "Orgasmic Bliss" on your calendar immediately!
The Art of Self Pleasure can be applied to other areas of your life as well. Review the 3 step process and apply it to your career, your parenting or your health. Similar principles apply. It's an art to be in touch with what makes our mind, body and spirit sing and a fine art to be assertive enough to fulfill those needs. Be the artist of your world and begin creating a life you love.
I'm here to help if needed. I have a variety of life coaching options available as well as an upcoming sexy and soulful retreat in Arizona called "The Sensual Woman Retreat". Feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.
8/17/2016 04:52:47 pm
LOVE it Michele, thank you for this. I actually talk about this in my book. As an abuse survivor, understanding how fundamentally important it is to learn to do this for yourself is a vital key to healing. Reclaiming our sensual rights is incredibly empowering and helps us to feel whole again. :)
8/17/2016 08:38:28 pm
Thank you for your insights regarding healing from abuse. So true! It can be difficult to allow yourself to experience pleasure in something that was once so traumatizing. Reclaim your sensual rights...Yes!
This is wonderful Michelle. As women, I think we can all learn something from this - particularly in regards to not feeling guilty for prioritising our own happiness first. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights. I have a feeling you'll change the way at least a few women view themselves...and isn't that why we write these things to begin with?! Great work <3 x
8/18/2016 06:45:29 pm
Thank you Sam! I hope it helps women prioritize their happiness in and out of the bedroom. :)
8/18/2016 06:49:03 pm
Thanks Mike! Way to look out for your lady. Send her my way. :)
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"Honest heartfelt conversation is vulnerable and vulnerability is where true beauty resides." - Michele Young